what sprints have taught me

My friend Leann is a runner.  Like a true runner.  A hard-core train for marathons kind of runner.  The kind that runs 10 miles on a Saturday "just for fun" even when she's not training for anything.  Me?  I like to run, but I'm what I like to call a lazy runner.  I enjoy it and like it, but on my own, I run 3-5 miles 2-3 times a week when the weather is nice.  Just enough to stay in decent running shape and be competitive should I happen to sign up for a 5k.

Leann is also my neighbor.  Like 6 houses away neighbor.  So we run together sometimes.  And naturally, when Leann decided to start training for a marathon, I started doing training runs with her (or I should say part of the long runs).  Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.  Those are run days.  And Tuesday was sprint day.  Sprints are an important part of training to build up strength and speed, but not necessarily something that a runner looks forward to, or is "fun and easy."

So every Monday night Leann would text me and ask if I'm up for sprints the next day, and even though I kind of dreaded sprint day and hoped it would end up raining so we could cancel, I would always say yes.  And each time Leann told me the sprints we had to run I would think "No, I can't do that!  That sounds terrible!"  And every time we got out there and ran sprints and it was hard, I asked myself "why did I say yes to this?!"  Then it was over and sprints were done and I felt great, and strong and so glad I did it.  And that's why I said yes week after week, even though it wasn't fun and it was hard.  I knew I could do it.  I knew I would be glad I did it and the challenge was good for me.  I could see myself getting stronger, the sprints getting easier.  Even though I wanted to say no, I'm so glad I said yes.

That's the benefit of saying yes to hard things.  In this case, sprints, but there are so many other lessons I learn from running that can be applied to life and doing hard things.  Lessons about endurance.  Mindset.  Pushing yourself harder than you think you can.  Doing something you think you can't do.  Getting out of your comfort zone.  Being stronger and more confident because of what you've accomplished and knowing you can do it again.

And now that our training is over and the marathon is ran, I kind of miss sprint day and long runs and know that I'll do it again, if I can, because I will crave the challenge and want to push myself again.  I did end up running the Monumental mini marathon, since I had been training, and was able to run it even faster than I thought I could.  A 1:31 - my best time ever and it was fun.  I felt great and that's because I put in the time to do the hard work, even when I didn't want to (and thankfully I had a friend to push me the whole time!).  So here's a reminder to myself: the next time I want to say no to something hard, do it anyway.  You'll be glad you did.

summer break

Summer break.  Oh summer break.  You had so much potential.  So many opportunities to be fun.  And now you're almost over and I'm not sure what happened.  I wasn't ready for you; I didn't know how much I needed a good plan.

Creighton was supposed to learn to write his name and tie his shoes.
We were supposed to go to the park and library and children's museum and do fun lunch dates.
We were supposed to get into a good summer routine with chores and allowance.
We were going to bake cookies and play in the kitchen.
Beckham was going to get better at basketball and being active everyday.
I was going to have nice morning devotions with the boys and memorize bible verses.
Beckham was going to regularly read to himself.
We were going to eat healthy snacks.

BUT...
We did do Boston and Wisconsin and grandma's house.  Golf lessons and VBS.
Creigh did get a little better at writing his name.
The boys got better at emptying the dishwasher and folding the towels.
We hit up the neighborhood pool and had water balloon fights.
We went to the library a couple times and once to the zoo.
Creighton learned to ride his bike.
We ate popsicles and ice-cream cones from McDonalds.
I read to the boys.
We sometimes did a morning devotion, but had lots of teaching moments to discuss.
There were summer evenings of walks and bike rides and golfing in the yard.

Summer, I wasn't ready for you; you took me by surprise.  You started with me being gone in Hawaii and coming home to house full of boys.  B & C's bickering, stubbornness, and competitive spirits; where did these come from?  It wasn't like this before.  The lack of school schedule, the wide-open and boring days, the complaining about doing a chore.  The asking for snacks, and shows, and friends to come over and play.  Why oh why is it so hard to just have a nice, normal day?  Summer, I wasn't ready for you, and granted, there were moments of fun.  But next year, oh next year, when school gets out, I'm going to be ready with a schedule and goals and activities to do in the sun.

So bring on the lunch boxes, homework and early morning routine.  School schedule is sounding quite nice.  Quiet days with just Ollie will suit me quite well; farewell to you, summer break.

milk supply

One of my goals with Oliver was to work harder at breast feeding and keeping up my milk supply.  I had ok supply with Beckham (nursed until 7 mo but had to supplement some formula and no frozen milk saved up), but things didn't go so well with Creighton.  I resorted to only pumping/bottles with Creighton around two months because I was frustrated with how breastfeeding was going... it seemed like I didn't have enough milk to satisfy him.  Once I started doing that, what little supply I had kind of dwindled off and by four months I had pretty much no milk left.

So this time around I was much more intentional about my milk and I nursed Ollie through 9 months, not because of supply, but just because I was ready to be done and had enough frozen milk to last at least another couple months (which was a big deal for me!).

I know there are many sources for increasing your milk supply on the internet, just thought I would add my input too :)  here's what I did this time around:

+ taking a lactation supplement.  this one from Honest is the one I used and liked it.  I think it was the biggest key to keeping up my supply.
+ drinking lots of water/fluids.  this is a no-brainer, but it really is something you have to consciously think about.  It can get annoying, but I took water with me wherever I went and always had a water bottle with me at home (yes, I had to pee like every hour!).  If I ever actually felt thirsty, I would chug a bunch of water.
+ keeping up my calories.  even if I didn't feel that hungry, I usually ate a small snack in the morning and afternoon.  I also tried to eat plenty of good fats - avocado, nut butters, avocado mayo, coconut milk.
+ not going crazy with exercise.  I don't remember how quickly I started working out after Creighton or what I did, but I'm sure it was more intense than what I did with Ollie.  I started with running about once/week and added a couple other light workouts during the week, but the more I work out, the more I have to work on drinking extra water and it seems to negatively affect my supply.
+ when Ollie ate once at night, he would feed on one side and I would pump the other side... and for a couple months after he slept through the night, I would get up around 3-4a and pump
+ eating lactation bites and overnight oats (and adding flax + brewers yeast to baked goods and homemade pizza crust).  I made this recipe of lactation bites and sometimes added chia or coconut.  They have a slightly bitter taste from the brewer's yeast, but the honey and nut butter hide the brewer's yeast really well.  I like NOW brand of brewer's yeast, which is debittered, so that probably helps.  this is the overnight oat recipe I liked:

1/2 c. oats
1/2 c. coconut or almond milk
1/2 c. frozen berries
1 T. chia seeds
drizzle of maple syrup (or a tsp of lemon curd, which was really yummy)
sprinkle of cinnamon
splash of vanilla (if I felt like it)
put all ingredients in a jar or bowl and refrigerate overnight.  I usually added a little extra milk in the morning to thin out.  these are good for several days in the fridge if you want to make 2 or 3 at a time.

Nursing can be stressful, especially if you are feeling low on milk supply, so I hope this is helpful info!  what have you done to help with your milk supply?

you know you are a mom of boys...

...when...



+ your pocket's often full of little lego pieces that need returned to their rightful place
+ you get excited to see construction sites along the road and call mini excavators "cute"
+ wrestling is a common after dinner activity
+ "poop," "stink," and "butt" are used as often as possible and are hilarious terms
+ you try to believe kicking footballs and throwing baseballs can be safe indoor activities... always quickly realizing they aren't
+ everything is a competition... who is faster, gets the toy first, has more milk in their glass, picks the first book
+ there are 100% zero dolls in your house
+ your garden box has plants for part of the year and the rest of the year it is a dirt digging haven full of trucks
+ going to Lowes and "riding the lawn mowers" is a fun family activity
+ you think about making dinner and what the kids will eat well, you think of meat
+ you ask how their school day was and they say "good" (and mean it, no other details necessary!)
+ you get told "I love you so much," "big or small, I'll always be your boy," and "you're the best mom" because little boys are just the sweetest! (or can be :))

pregnancy facts

I've been asked many times during this pregnancy how I feel and if it is different than my other pregnancies.  My response is usually "good" and "I don't really remember, but I think about the same!"  Since Creigh is 4 I really don't remember much about his pregnancy, but I do know that both his and Beck's went smooth and were fairly uneventful, thankfully.  I never have anything really to complain about with pregnancy, but I would still always prefer to not be pregnant. :)


I thought it would be fun (mostly for my own sake) to document some random pregnancy info this time around:


Favorite foods?  Grapefruit!  Cottage cheese.  French fries.  Salt & vinegar chips.  Pizza.  Asian food.  Anything tomato.  Vanilla ice cream.  Give me all the savory, salty, cheesy food when I'm pregnant.  Maybe it's not really that different than when I'm not pregnant, just a little more carbs and cheese. :) 


Aversions?  Strong smells.  Mostly in the fragrance dept., like soaps or cologne.  I know that whatever soap is in my bathroom, if it's slightly strong, I'll hate by the end of pregnancy.  The balm I put on my stomach has a very light smell and I'm still sooo sick of it!  There are still some smells from prior pregnancies that I just can't take.


How much weight do I gain?  I gained 20 lbs. with B and 25 with C, so I'm not heading in the right direction!  ...although I was pregnant 2 weeks longer with C.  That's something right?  And speaking of being pregnant two weeks longer with C... I had Beck 4 weeks early, Creigh 2 weeks early... this one will likely be overdue!  haha


Aches and pains?  In some ways I actually feel better when I'm pregnant.  My low back gets achy and my left hip/glute get tight fairly regularly, but when I'm pregnant they don't really... not sure if it's a posture thing, or just the fact that I'm not beating up my body with intense work-outs?  Either way, it's a nice positive.


Workout routine?  It's fairly non-existent when I'm pregnant... which is kind of nice in a way to get a break from the norm and have an excuse to sleep in, rather than be disciplined and work out.  There's so much modifying and discomfort that goes along with working out when pregnant, that I probably do less of it with each kid.  These days I usually do an arm workout 1 day/week, cardio with light weights one day/week and maybe a day of running, if it's decent in the morning.  And by running, I should say jogging with small walk breaks if my legs or stomach are tight.  Me and running really don't get along that well when I'm pregnant, but it's still refreshing enough that I try to it here and there.
* running update:  I tried this morning b/c it was sooo nice out and made it like 1/4 of a mile and decided that it's time to be done.  No more running during pregnancy.  There was just nothing slightly enjoyable about it and my legs were screaming for me to "please just walk!"


Labor & delivery?  Both B & C's L&D were very similar.  Water broke.  No contractions.  Not dilated.  Walked for 2-3 hrs at hospital to get labor going.  Pushed for 1.5-2 hrs.  Baby born 14 hours after water broke.  The main difference was that I needed Pitocin with C b/c contractions stopped and I also needed oxygen while pushing due to his heart rate fluxuating.  Curious to see if this baby follows suit with my water breaking first and feeling like I'm not in labor yet.


Favorite baby app?  Don't use one.  I download very few aps and tend to be a little old school in the technology dept.  I have no idea how big my baby is or how it is developing... which I kind of thought I would follow a little more this time... I'm probably missing out on all the fun stuff.


Favorite maternity clothes?  Gap.  They are the only jeans I have found that fit good and you can always get Gap clothes on sale.  I did discover Pink Blush maternity clothes this time around and got a couple dresses and shirts from there.  Overall, their stuff looks super cute online, but I was disappointed in the actual fit... it was a little too flowy for me.  I returned several dresses that felt like they had way too much material, so maybe order a size down on the flowy stuff.


Least favorite thing about pregnancy?  Everything!  haha.. not really.  I don't like the restrictions on the activities I can do and the food I can eat.  I don't like feeling like your stomach is always in the way and so, so tight.  And the light cramps/general discomfort in the stomach area isn't so fun... I carry my babies low, so there's just lots of extra pressure down there.  Oh!  and I almost forgot the annoying fact that my left ear pops all the time during pregnancy... more later in my pregnancy.  Not the right, just the left.  It's delightful.


Favorite thing about pregnancy?  Some days... nothing!  But if I have to pick Something, I would say that it's kind of nice to have a break in some of my normal routines (like I was saying before about exercise) and have an excuse to sleep more or just eat what sounds good.  There's always the typical answer of "feeling the baby move," which is true too.  And I kind of like the challenge of losing my baby weight... gives me motivation for getting back in shape.  I love running after I've been pregnant - I feel so light and free!  And going back to regular clothes and feeling like you have a new wardrobe again!

# 3

For a long time I wondered if I would ever write this post... really ever since Creighton was born.  I pictured writing it as times, but often thought I never would.  There has never been a decision in my life, in Chad and I's married life, that has been so debated, so mulled over, prayed over, surrounded by so much indecision.  Why was it so complicated and so hard?  Maybe because we're both analytical, or we both like things calm and simple.  Because we had gotten in the groove of having just two boys and it was starting to feel "easy?"  Because I like to work and it seems hard to have three kids and keep working part-time?  Because we have two healthy boys and what if the third isn't so healthy?  Whatever the reasons, at the end of the day, I kept being convicted that they were selfish and driven by fear.  Yes, it's ok to only have two kids, many families do.  But for some reason we kept praying and discussing and could never really say,  "Ok, we're done, done.  Two boys is all that's in it for us."

So here we are today.  #3 is on the way.  Due to the practical nature of the decision and the fact that we didn't "always know that we wanted three kids and we're just so thankful for another one," I started off pretty neutral about the news and still struggle with being excited.  Just the other day I had another bought of "what are we doing?  I can't even handle two kids, how am I going to be able to mother three?  Why are we adding this stress to our lives?  Aren't we into the groove of two kids and it fits us so well?"

But that's just the thing.. it can be so easy to think of the negatives... how my life is going to change and be so much harder and how what little independence I had is going to be gone forever (or so it seems).   I know I can be irrational and that there are going to be so many blessings and joys that will come from this child that I can't feel or picture yet, because they aren't here.  I only know what life is like now, but it's impossible to fully understand the future until it's here and reality.

And I say that we wavered on the decision and make it sound like we were unsure, but at the end of the day, we really did have peace and confidence in our decision... that it was where God was leading us even if we didn't fully understand or it seemed hard, or we weren't even sure we wanted to go there.  There has never been anything in my life that I've chosen to do (by God's leading) that felt so hard and unknown.  It has felt so backwards for me to choose something that (in my mind) is going to be much harder than my current stage.

But Ephesians 4:20 kept coming back to me:
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"

...And I wanted to be able to say that we gave God the opportunity to do far more abundantly with our lives than we could ask or think.  So we chose to surrender.  We chose to say yes.  And God chose to bless us with a pregnancy (very quickly) that will hopefully end with a healthy baby.  I know that God has plans for us that will be far greater than I can hope or imagine, I just have to trust in the process and not let my limited knowledge lead to doubt.  To not let the fear of the unknown overrule the peace of Christ in my heart.  Obedience requires faith and I can find joy in knowing that God has a plan and will equip me for life with three littles.

we'll miss you

we'll miss your charming smile
and your pockets full of love
we'll miss how you tease Sheli
your steadfastness in your Father above

we'll miss your confident demeanor
your endless stories and advice
we'll miss your generous spirit
your relationships went beyond just being nice

we'll miss the future memories
with the boys you'll fail to make
we're sad you won't meet the baby
their little hand you'll never shake

I'll miss you asking about my day
when I come to pick up the boys
how you cared about those little guys
were even patient enough to fix their toys

we'll do our best to carry on your legacy
so our memory of you never dies
to share love abundantly as you did to others
as our time on earth here flies

you were patient, humble, kind and joyful
too many positive characteristics to name
that's why we chose to name our son after you
our precious Creighton James

we love you Jim.

Both of these pictures were taken at the Traders Point Loft restaurant, one of our favorite places to eat out with Jim and Sheli, and was actually the last place we ate out with them to celebrate Beckham's 6th birthday.  Lots of good memories made there...

goals

Are you a goal setter?  Do you love to make a list of things you want to accomplish in the new year?

I'm a fairly competitive, driven, disciplined person who loves her lists, but I'm not much of a goal
setter.  I don't like setting myself up for potential failure and I don't like the feeling of being tied to something... I like the option to switch things up if I get bored and can feel burdened by a goal.  If I do set a goal, it's usually a loose, immeasurable thought about an area in my life I want to change, or I'm usually fairly sure I can accomplish it without much pain or going too far out of my comfort zone (like running a mini-marathon at a specific pace).

Chad and I were recently talking with friends about the sin in our lives as it relates to where we turn for comfort and safety, instead of turning to Christ... things that give us a false sense of security and make me feel like my world is "safe and ok", trying to avoid the paid of facing struggles head on.

This can take on many different forms which are usually different for men and women.  For women, it could be having a clean and organized house, eating only certain kinds of food, not using any kind of medicine, your kids, physical appearance, shopping, etc, etc... Usually they are things that seem good and can be good when implemented in a healthy way, but when abused and turned into our comfort and safety, they turn into sin - idols, addictions, fear, control.

For me, these are the things I often turn to for comfort instead of Christ:

1. entertainment - a show or browsing social media
2. shopping, buying something new
3. exercise, desiring a specific body image
4. things I think will keep my family healthy and avoid sickness.  because being sick is.the.worst.

In 2016, my "goal" is to turn to Christ for comfort and safety instead of these things.  To realize that they can all be good when used properly, but to be honest when I'm replacing Christ with these things in my life.

.... and to blog more. :)

..... and to try to start implementing the idea of a capsule wardrobe (would help with item #2 above!)

contradiction

Does anyone else get... what's the word... sick of, overwhelmed, annoyed by the contradiction of information that exists in the health and wellness world?

It's one thing to stumble upon new information that's helpful and easy to implement in your daily life, if so chosen.  Like learning about the importance of fat and fermented foods in our diet, or that it would be a healthy (and resourceful) idea for me to start making my own bone broths. (not that I don't still question some of these types of things or make gradual changes)

It's entirely another thing to learn about contradictions that are contrary to what you have known to be true your entire life and seem to go against what society believes as a whole.  Topics such as:

- Is sunscreen necessary?  Or is it better to just soak in the sun and the benefit it provides, fighting off the harmful effects with an antioxidant rich diet.  Because soaking up the sun actually fights cancer... don't worry about it causing it.  (a very simplified and over-generalized summary of the article)
- The measles vaccine actually spreads the virus.  Which is why as more people get vaccinated there are so many cases of the measles, right??
- Diary causes osteoporosis.  You should not drink milk to have strong bones.
... and the list could go on and on.

I am naturally curious about health topics and am drawn to reading these kinds of articles.. but clearly some of them are not helpful.  It's after I read the ones above that I stop and just think "really?  Like what I've known my whole life to be true about these topics is actually false?!"  And most of the population has no idea?!  How can it be that there is this small group of people that is privy to discovering all the secrets to good health and how we should Really be living our lives?

Some topics are easy to brush off and not worry about, but with others it's harder to decide if it's actually important.

As I thought about this, I realized I do have a few "rules" of sorts for processing these kinds of things, but it doesn't always take away the uncertainty I feel after I intake new information.

(in no certain order)
1.)  We live in a fallen, sinful world.  There is no perfect answer to anything, nor can anyone completely control their health and environment.  People that are diligent to live responsible, healthy lifestyles still get cancer (or other life-treatening diseases), while very irresponsible and careless people can live to 90 and never have an illness.  At the end of the day God is sovereign and in control.
2.)  God has created many people that are smarter than me and called them to jobs that I will never know much about.  While there is a sect of distrust for the medical world, I have to believe that they are smarter than me, the FDA is not out to kill me, and I can kind of believe what I'm told.  I don't want to live a fearful and distrustful life, questioning everything I'm told.
3.)  If the general public embraces this without obvious consequences, then it's probably ok for me too. [things like vaccines, eating x,y,&z, applying sunscreen, or using gasp, store bought formula (vs homemade, if you didn't know you could actually do that)... ]
4.)  Would it be stressful or expensive to implement?  Then it's probably not worth it.
5.)  If it's something that would affect the whole family, would Chad be on board?  If I know he wouldn't or would feel dumb even bringing it up b/c he would think I'm weird/crazy, then I can probably forget about it.
6.)  If it's about food I talk to my food scientist sister Amber.  She provides a very practical, facts-driven, the public has no idea what they are talking about perspective.  It usually brings me back to reality.  Thanks Amber. :)
7.)  If I find a natural alternative to the "normal" that works well and is price-comparable, I'll probably switch that... things like deodorant, cleaning supplies, lotion... most any household/personal care product.  I tend to not go the homemade route due to time/energy and have found lots of Honest products I like.
8.)  Stay balanced and don't get extreme in any one thing.  Information is always changing.  Read one article and you will feel like you should never eat carbs again, and other one will explain the importance whole grains have on your body and if you avoid them you could be missing out on good nutrients and protein your body needs.  I'm waiting for the day we learn that organic is worse for you than regular food and that it's actually good for you to drink wine while you're pregnant. :)


So how do you analyze these topics?  Or new information that doesn't align with what you've always thought?  Maybe this all is far off your radar (which sounds kind of nice), or you are far more level-headed and can analyze much better than I?

Maybe I give way too much thought to all this stuff, and should just cut it off completely... but it is interesting and sometimes helpful, so I will probably keep reading and trying to filter the good from the bad.  :)

my opposite boys

Before Creighton was born, we had the discussion that I'm sure most parents have... "what will this baby be like and how can it be different than the kid we already have?"  ... or at least when you are going from one kid to two, and have only experienced one personality.

So, have we found Beckham and Creighton to be very similar or very different?

Overall... very different.

                                                     
Beckham is careful and safe, doesn't like to take risks .... while Creighton isn't afraid to try new things and takes risks.  He climbs like Beck never did and is already more brave on the slides at the playground than Beck is.

Beckham doesn't like to disappoint and is quick to say sorry or cry if he feels like he someone is upset with him .... while Creighton is feisty and doesn't mind being told no.  He puts up a fight and is going to be harder to discipline (I'm predicting).

Beckham is a "steady-eddy" and doesn't have emotional swings.  He has a very consistent personality and never throws tantrums .... while Creighton is more dramatic and will throw fits when he doesn't get his way.  He switches between being happy and mad much more than Beck.

Beckham is calculated .... while Creighton is spunky

Beckham has always played well by himself and enjoys alone time .... while Creighton loves being around people and rarely has alone time besides sleeping.  He usually wants me or Beckham by his side.

Beckham was an easy baby that always transitioned from one stage to the next pretty smoothly without much trouble .... while Creighton is a less predictable and was/is a more needy baby.

Beckham is focused and can play one thing for a while (like golf, or digging in the sandbox, or pretending with trucks) .... while Creighton has a shorter attention span and seems to get bored easily.


Overall, Beckham seems to have the typical, more responsible "oldest child" personality and Creighton seems to be the carefree little brother who will instigate trouble.  If I tried to summarize their personalities, I think Beckham will help Creighton be responsible and Creighton will help Beckham have fun and try new things.  But they're still very young and things could change.  :)

There are some things that have yet to manifest themselves... like how Beckham is listens closely, is super observant and pays attention to detail.  He never fails to amaze us with the things he notices, hears, and remembers .... but I predict that Creighton won't care as much and be more distracted.  Or will Creighton be up for playing/learning anything?  Beckham doesn't like to do things he isn't good at and wants to give up quickly if he can't do something, like hit a baseball.

I must say that while they clearly have their differences, they are both clearly boy and share two clear LOVES:  trucks, machines, anything that says "vrrrmmm" and digging in the dirt.  And they really do seem to like each other. :)

Creighton being a pest!

back to work

So... if you read this post you might have caught the part about how I felt like I had time to share this year...  either in a work sense or helping others sense.

It turns out that's going to be in a work sense.  I am going back to work!  Actually, I already started.  This week.  Just part time, 2 days a week with a little more from home and some Saturday's during busy season (like the time of year right now).

Busy season?  Does that mean you are doing taxes again?  Yes, I am!  I am going back to work at KSM where I worked before doing exactly what I did before.  My new desk is two desks away from my old desk and I'm working with all the same nice people.  Although when I left I thought I wouldn't do tax work anymore, some time off has helped me see that maybe it's a better fit than I thought it was.

It wasn't something I sought out, they approached me about working part-time again... and when asked, it turned out that I was excited about the thought of it and wanted to.  Last fall I thought about trying to work part-time during busy season this year, but things weren't falling into place and I wasn't going to try extra hard to make it work, so I decided not to.  Ever since I made that decision, going back to work was still in the back of my mind.  I'm thankful that by waiting and not forcing it, an opportunity came in God's timing.

Some questions you might be asking yourself (or maybe just ones I've been answering for myself!)...

Don't you like being a stay-at-home mom?  Didn't you quit work for a reason?  Yes, I do love being a stay-at-home mom and spending time with the boys.  It was a little hard for me to make the decision to work again because it's hard to not feel selfish, but I've decided that I want to work for a reason and I will still have lots of days at home with the boys.

Isn't it going to make you busy and maybe more stressed?  Yes, for sure it is going to make me more busy, but that's kind of the point.  I want to be a little more busy.  I am more productive when my schedule is a little fuller than it is currently.  I like really busy days so that I enjoy the low-key days more.  I'm hoping that it won't add too much stress.  I'm going to try to be smarter about planning simple meals on the days I work, as the get-home-from-work-cook-a-meal time of day is the worst part about it all for me.

Don't you like the time to do what you want to do when you're not working?  Before I quit working last year I had a picture in my head of who I would be when I stopped working.  In some ways it's true... I have done some projects I wanted to, have more time to clean and keep up with the house and time to play in the kitchen, time to sit around and enjoy the boys.  But there is this other side of me I thought would change more... but it hasn't really.  The side that pictured doing something new and amazing with my time or being creative super-mom or something.  Not that those things can't happen, but they didn't really for me.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I made being at home something that it wasn't completely, so I'm ok with going back to work.

And since I already started, I can report that I had a good first day, it was great to see and chat with everyone, and my brain is a little rusty.  :)

4 questions

At our New Year's Eve gathering, one of our group activities was to answer the following four questions (in reference to the coming year):

1.  What do you want?
2.  What do you need?
3.  What do you want to share with others?
4.  What do you want to succeed at?


Here were my answers:
1.  To have more quality time with Chad and find ways to have more fun together, breaking the normal routine of life.
2.  To be more consistent, structured, and disciplined in my prayer life.  Still working on getting this figured out.
3.  My time.  I feel like it's hard to share time with two little boys, but yet I feel as though I have time to share, whether in a work sense or in a helping others sense.  Waiting on God to show me his plan.
4.  Something physically challenging.**  I decided to sign up for the Indy mini marathon in May and really, like Really train for it and have a goal finish time, something I've never done (I've ran it, but just "for fun").  But now I'm really wondering what I've gotten myself into and am dreading the training runs... unless it suddenly warms up!


Ok - your turn to answer!


**  Small lie... I actually referenced the clothes fast when I answered this one, but later realized that this is a better answer since I'm confident that we will succeed at the clothes fast. :)

clothes fast 2014

Fasts are supposed to be private, right?  No one really knows that you are doing them, in an effort not to draw attention to yourself and stay humble.

Well... Chad and I are embarking on a fast that has become public.  Not intentionally, but I guess we didn't mind sharing it with others... not to look good, more just in a factual way.  And maybe fast isn't really the correct word... maybe we could use"freeze."  It's a "spending freeze."  But since some of our friends found out about it, I decided that it was ok to share it here too, in an effort to get as much encouragement and accountability as possible... and to share what I learn along the way.

It was Chad's idea and I quickly agreed to it (knowing I needed it much more than him).  His suggestion was to not purchase any new clothes in 2014.  I knew I could do it and that I wanted to do it.  For several reasons.

To prove for once that I can be strict in this area, when I fail to meet my budget year after year.
To simplify my life.
To get back the time that I spend purchasing, returning, purchasing, returning.
To redefine my needs & my style.  What do I like and wear the most?  What is my closet missing?
To remove emotional ties to shopping and the idol that it can become.
To be able to shop based on needs and not wants and say "no" when I know I don't need it.
To continue to shrink my wardrobe, with the goal of owning quality favorites that I wear often, rather than owning lots of things - some that I like a lot, some that are just ok.
To have a wish list of things that I want and wait to get them as a gift or with gift $, rather than just buying them for myself and feeling guilty I didn't have more patience.
To challenge myself to wear my clothes in new ways when everything feels old.
To be changed.

And really it goes beyond clothes.  Pretty much any nonessential personal purchase, including accessories, shoes... and things of the like.

I will be honest and say that Chad and I took a shopping trip after Christmas to spend some Christmas $ and get a few more things we wanted before our year of fasting began.  I found myself walking through Gap racking my brain for anything I could possibly need the next year and had to remind myself that wasn't the point.

Maybe I'm naive, but I really don't think it will be that hard overall.  I feel more excitement for the challenge than fear for the future.  I like extreme, black and white situations that force a decision.  Browsing Target and debating on the $20 shirt isn't an option.  Decision made.  There's something about telling myself no that feels good.  And a year goes fast, right?

My prayer is that I really am changed by all of this.  That after the end of the year I can look back and feel different.  Not that it won't ever be hard to go into Jcrew and want to buy just about everything, but that in the moment when that happens, I can take a deep breath, get perspective, and do some smart shopping.

I found a quote by Tim Keller that summarized my perspective on doing the fast and taped it to my computer.  It says:
"Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol.  That is what will replace your counterfeit gods.  If you uproot the idol and fail to "plant" the love of Christ in its place, the idol will grow back."

That's what I want to happen in my life.

I will update you on how it's going and what I'm learning, if you care to know.  Happy 2014 and anyone is free to join us if they feel so led. :)

why not?

Some of my blogger friends have been posting this little questionnaire lately and I've had fun reading them, so I decided why not join in.


I'm currently obsessed with:  hmm... obsessed is a strong word.  I tend to not get obsessed with things... as Chad would put it, I'm a classic under-rater of everything, so I don't usually go crazy about anything.  Don't I sound fun?!  However, I have been loving a cup of Tazo's Zen tea in the afternoon.

My biggest pet peeve is:  well, I've ranted about things I dislike on the blog before, but something to add to the list would be oblivious people.  The ones who don't pay attention when they drive and hop over to the new check-out lane that opens at the store, even though they were last in line.  Somehow social norms don't apply to them.

I could eat an endless supply of:  Tomatoes fresh from the garden.  With just salt & pepper.  Or cottage cheese.  Or just about anything.  Sooo good & juicy.

I'm currently reading:  I just finished Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist and really enjoyed that.  I like her writing style and found her relatable.  Kind of behind on the Shauna Niequist bandwagon.

My bedtime has recently been:  I usually don't get into bed fully ready to sleep for the night until 10/10:30, however, it's starting to be pretty rare if I don't fall asleep while putting Beck to bed or on the couch before that.  Yea, it's bad.

The last movie I watched was:   The entire movie (which is an accomplishment for me)... Gatsby on a rainy afternoon during our recent vacation to MX.

I am writing this while:  The boys sleep.  Otherwise Beck would be on my lap asking to watch videos of himself.

The scripture that is really speaking to my heart is:  I'm studying Matthew in BSF right now and been have learning through the example of Christ.  About being content and used by God wherever we are.  About being willing to serve anyone and everyone and not just choosing my favorite people to interact with and help.  About standing up for the truth of the gospel no matter what other's think.  It's been good.

On days when I don't leave the house, I:  Work out in the morning to give me energy & focus for my day at home.  I usually clean and do laundry, whatever I need to catch up on.  I like to spend time in the kitchen cooking or baking.  I try to prioritize the boys over my task list and just enjoy them.  My favorite thing would be to do some sort of organizational project, but those don't happen very often.  I like days at home, but no more than a couple in a row and then we get antsy to get out.

If I could hug anybody today, it would be:  My boys.  They get most of my hugs.

idols of a mother's heart

I read this article today and found it very challenging and convicting... especially the part about control as a mother.  It's so good to be reminded that nothing is really in our control.

I love this quote by Tim Keller towards the end:

    "Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol. That is    

    what will replace your counterfeit gods. If you uproot the idol and fail to “plant” the love of Christ in its place,   

    the idol will grow back."

I have been convicted about some idols in my heart, but even if I feel like I'm overcoming and not struggling with an idol at the moment, if I don't replace that idol with the love of Christ, it will eventually grow back.

Link to the article:

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-idols-of-a-mother-s-heart

medicine vs. "natural remedies" (whatever that really is...)

So lately I've been thinking about (and getting a little overwhelmed by) the whole world of medicine vs. natural remedies and what you choose to administer to your family.  I don't like that I have no medical knowledge or understand little of how the body works, so I feel that I can't really make very informed choices and usually rely on the opinion of others... be that a friend, doctor, website, etc. (which is how most people probably operate).

My natural mindset for health is that we eat lots of fruits & veggies, take a vitamin, and hope we don't get sick.  If we do get sick, I tend to just let things run their course and just suffer a little through it, b/c I know I don't want to use medicine unless I have to, but don't really know of any other great remedies (other than eating a few extra oranges and taking more vitamins... which might not even help!).  I probably make things up in my head that are or aren't a big deal, without any factual backing.

Some of this started because Creighton has been congested with a snotty nose for over a month now, ever since he started getting his bottom teeth.  I attributed it to his teeth for the first couple weeks, but then started to think it was a little weird it wasn't getting better.  At his latest well visit, the Dr. thought it could be a sinus infection and prescribed an antibiotic.  I got it, but couldn't bring myself to give it to him, b/c he really wasn't showing any sign of a sinus infection, other than congestion.  But I kept going back and forth on whether to give it to him b/c I just want him to be better!  He doesn't seem to be bothered by it, but I'm a little tired of suctioning his nose and just like healthy babies better than ones with stuffy noses.

So I talked to some friends about Creighton and one had some natural suggestions... extra vitamin C, oregano drops, things like that.  Ok, I don't know anything about things like oregano drops unless I hear it from someone else.  Might as well try it?

Then I checked a few websites/blogs here and there that discussed natural remedies to use when you are sick, and it's just OVERWHELMING!  There are herbs for this, a product for that... how in the world to do you know when to use what?  And are herbs really all that safe and way better than medicine?  I've heard a Dr. say that herbs are toxic to your body just like medicine  (I think... I remember asking if that's what he really said b/c it surprised me) ... hmmm, interesting.

One site said that too much tylenol (like once/month) greatly increases your risk of asthma... really?  Who has ever heard of that? There are so many risks and concerns out there that it makes my brain hurt if I get too involved, so I tend to just keep my distance... which is probably why I feel uninformed.

At the end of the day, I guess my theory will go back to what it is for most things in life... moderation.  Is a little medicine or antibiotics here and there going to have life altering side affects?  Hopefully not.  Using some herbs are probably ok too.  I just don't like to get too extreme in any one thing.

I also have found comfort in Matthew 6:25 & 27:  Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink or about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing..... And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
God is sovereign over our life and knows when/if we will get sick and how long our life will last.  Can we really ever prevent cancer or life long illnesses?  Are they really just a part of God's plan for our life?  I have to trust that I will probably never have perfect information when making decisions regarding my family's health, but God is in control.

So... enough of my ramblings!  What are your theories?  Are you quick to administer the meds?  Have some secret home remedies?  Don't get too worried about all this stuff?  Tips on dealing with a congested baby?  I'd love to know. :)