# 3

For a long time I wondered if I would ever write this post... really ever since Creighton was born.  I pictured writing it as times, but often thought I never would.  There has never been a decision in my life, in Chad and I's married life, that has been so debated, so mulled over, prayed over, surrounded by so much indecision.  Why was it so complicated and so hard?  Maybe because we're both analytical, or we both like things calm and simple.  Because we had gotten in the groove of having just two boys and it was starting to feel "easy?"  Because I like to work and it seems hard to have three kids and keep working part-time?  Because we have two healthy boys and what if the third isn't so healthy?  Whatever the reasons, at the end of the day, I kept being convicted that they were selfish and driven by fear.  Yes, it's ok to only have two kids, many families do.  But for some reason we kept praying and discussing and could never really say,  "Ok, we're done, done.  Two boys is all that's in it for us."

So here we are today.  #3 is on the way.  Due to the practical nature of the decision and the fact that we didn't "always know that we wanted three kids and we're just so thankful for another one," I started off pretty neutral about the news and still struggle with being excited.  Just the other day I had another bought of "what are we doing?  I can't even handle two kids, how am I going to be able to mother three?  Why are we adding this stress to our lives?  Aren't we into the groove of two kids and it fits us so well?"

But that's just the thing.. it can be so easy to think of the negatives... how my life is going to change and be so much harder and how what little independence I had is going to be gone forever (or so it seems).   I know I can be irrational and that there are going to be so many blessings and joys that will come from this child that I can't feel or picture yet, because they aren't here.  I only know what life is like now, but it's impossible to fully understand the future until it's here and reality.

And I say that we wavered on the decision and make it sound like we were unsure, but at the end of the day, we really did have peace and confidence in our decision... that it was where God was leading us even if we didn't fully understand or it seemed hard, or we weren't even sure we wanted to go there.  There has never been anything in my life that I've chosen to do (by God's leading) that felt so hard and unknown.  It has felt so backwards for me to choose something that (in my mind) is going to be much harder than my current stage.

But Ephesians 4:20 kept coming back to me:
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"

...And I wanted to be able to say that we gave God the opportunity to do far more abundantly with our lives than we could ask or think.  So we chose to surrender.  We chose to say yes.  And God chose to bless us with a pregnancy (very quickly) that will hopefully end with a healthy baby.  I know that God has plans for us that will be far greater than I can hope or imagine, I just have to trust in the process and not let my limited knowledge lead to doubt.  To not let the fear of the unknown overrule the peace of Christ in my heart.  Obedience requires faith and I can find joy in knowing that God has a plan and will equip me for life with three littles.

this and that

So this is what happens when you don't take time to blog for a long time... lots of randomness.  Here's some tidbits about our summer and what the boys are up to lately...

meeting friends at Mulberry Fields park - they love the stream there

All Comers family track meets in Zionsville... despite Beck's face, mom got into it way more than the kids did :)

the zoo brings out the crazies

lots of dune buggy riding 

and lots of bug bites this summer!  both of the boys (and myself) get bites so easy and C swells up to spider bites and Beck swells up to some mosquito bites

summer is for smores!

and donuts!  sharing a nutella filled one from the Zionsville farmers market

family hike at Eagle Creek park.. Beckham was our guide. :) definitely need to go there more with how close it is to our house - great spot!

pool time and mismatching flip flops (C's thing for a while this summer)

love these moments.

just like daddy... and Scott (who mows aunt Sheli's yard and wears headphones)

first time at the dentist for C and he was awesome!  Beck was terrified and cried his first time and C was the opposite... which is kind of what I expected.  He tends to embrace new things head on and Beck is much more tentative.

a bowl full of summer!  mom's tomato/cucumber salad made with garden fresh veggies is a must in the summer.  never get sick of it.

first day of school!  big stuff! (literally... Beck's outfit is a size 7 :))

walk before dinner in downtown Zville

loves helping water the flowers

enjoying one-on-one time with C now that Beck's in school.  the Lego exhibit at the zoo was their favorite this summer

flag football this fall for Beck!  not sure it will be a repeat activity (due to skill level :)), but he seems to be having fun and loves making new friends and being part of the team.  All he really wants to do is tackle, so wrestling with dad is the preferred kind of football!

Beckham:
- says he likes everything about school and doesn't complain about any of it (except being woke up in the morning for it :)), but usually says "I don't know" when asked what he's learning
- told me the other day that "big or small, I'll always be your boy"... still my little sweetie!
- doesn't want to ride his bike without training wheels
- wants to have friends over and play with the neighbor boys the minute he gets home from school
- keeps me in check and tells me not to drive too fast, or say bad words (like "shoot!" or "stupid"),  or reminds me of things I said I would do
- wants to have another baby so we can "get a car where the doors slide back"
- likes to tell jokes... most of which do not make sense



Creighton:
- likes to say "of course I do/will, why do you ask?" about everything... when if he wants to go somewhere, or eat something or play something.
- was begging the other night to ride his bike without training wheels, but decided it was overrated when he couldn't do it right away and wants the training wheels back on
- still wants me to cuddle with him in bed almost every night as he falls asleep
- is known to be found naked in the morning, after going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and not putting his pants back on... but I'm just glad he didn't wake me up to put them back on, b/c that's usually what happens
- wants to be "dropped off" at Sheli's house ever since Beck started school.  he'll say "mom, when we get to Sheli's house, just drop me off and Don't Go Inside!"... he even tries to close the front door on me so I won't come in.
- is a complete goof ball that talks a bunch of nonsense, and is either completely grumpy or completely fun and sweet... not too much middle ground with him

a month of travels

The last month has been full, full, full of traveling.  From April 21st to May 30th we were home for 16 days (to be exact)... I just counted.

It all started with a trip to Hilton Head that we planned some time during February or March when I was working extra tax hours and we decided that a family get-away was just what we needed post busy season.  My aunt and uncle have a vacation home there, making it an easy and affordable trip to plan.  And it was the first time just the four of us went somewhere together... the boys are finally at a good age where it sounds fun.  And it was fun... started with C being sick with a high fever and diagnosed ear infection, but there's no place like the beach to heal, right?!  Beckham golfed his way through the trip and C was finally in better spirits the last couple days.

Then in late March Chad's parents invited us on a last minute trip to France at the end of May, which we decided we couldn't pass up.  However, the trip to France was over Memorial Day weekend, during which we already had a trip to Arizona planned to visit Seth and Brandy... so we moved the AZ trip up a couple weeks and went before France.

Traveling is fun and each trip was special for its own reasons, but it is oh, so good to be home!  (until we go on a friends trip to California in July :)).  Lets just say I won't be bit with the travel bug for a while after this summer!

Hilton Head feels like it happened too long ago to talk about and France is too overwhelming and needs its own post, so here's a little of our trip to AZ:


This is the first year that the kids were "easy" according to me and B... which means they were all talking, older than 3 and [almost] all out of diapers (way to hold out Creighton!  haha).  Which means that the kids all played together much better this year and we could have a little more adult time.  Love that every trip to AZ is different and fun in its own way!

On the flight on the way to AZ.  I love this picture so much b/c it shows the boys personalities... Beckham gets on the plane and instantly buckles his seat belt and starts studying the emergency manual (although when I told he would need to tell me what to do in the case of an emergency he replied "mom, I have no idea about those things." :)) and Creighton is climbing all over me (see the flailing arm!), messing with the tray, and is far from buckled in his seat.  I believe he was standing up during takeoff and landing.  Southwest stewardesses are the nicest.

Our first family hike!  Beckham was complaining about it before we left, thinking that hiking wasn't really his thing.  It wasn't long into the hike before he changed his mind and made the following comments:  "I was born to hike!  Hiking is my life right now.  Yea."  Who says that?!  He was even giving me "tips" on when to slow down and when I could jump off the rocks.  Needless to say, he didn't want the hike to end. :)

just love the sweetness of this pic.

at the train park - super fun little place for the kiddos

the kids riding in the train car by themselves... they were locked in during the ride!

hiking with B and being very unsuccessful at a selfie shot that included the mountain

a nice lady noticed me struggling to get a pic and offered to help :)

back when there was warmth

Now that I'm officially cold all the time and kind of shiver even when I'm inside and feel like I should be wearing gloves right now as I type and 68 degrees in this house is just not warm enough.... it's time to remember those days when it's sunny and warm outside and hope they come back sooner rather than later.  Especially for my lazy boys who are way too into their shows and games these days.  Technology is the best and worst at the same time.

Warmth, I miss you.  Little boys with no clothes and hoses and dirt and walks after dinner, I miss you.  Here's to nice days, when we can be outside as long as we want.  I'll be here waiting when you return.

more on AZ

my oh my... can't seem to find time to sit and write up a post these days..  I'm going to go with "better late than never" and finish my post on AZ :)

_____________

Another year, another great trip.  This was the first trip that we didn't go in the spring or fall, but in the Summer.  Hot. AZ. Summer.  Chad was on a mission trip in MX the week we were there and met up with us at the end of his trip, which is why we went in June and not October.  I kind of thought we would die in the heat, but it wasn't quite as bad as I expected... maybe b/c I had in mind it would be awful?!  I can't say I was in the direct sunlight for more than a few minutes at any one time, but we were still outside quite a bit.  We did some outings and swam in the pool.

This was also the first year (since those simple pre-kid days) that it felt like we didn't have any babies, making us feel more mobile and up for activities out-and-about.  My highlight is always time with B... when we go out for a late dinner, or a quick trip to a store while the kids nap (yes, we leave them home alone... ;)), or an early morning hike.

But since that's not usually what gets photographed, here's some of what does:

A day at the zoo

the jeep was very popular... as you can see by C's response to not getting to drive

not sure how little Norah is strong enough to pull Beck!

being monkey's at the monkey exhibit

C and See trying to get along... they had their share of friendly two-year old battles :) 

fireworks!

finger suckers :) 

fun at the children's museum

 And a play-by-play of the kids enjoying their donuts :)

And a few more memories that didn't get captured:

- summer movie at the theater - Penguins of Madagascar
- yummy dinners out, including the Best Vietnamese food ever... I've been craving it ever since we went!
- story time at the library [twice]

We will be back soon, AZ!